Friday 8 June 2012

Seeing It All


I have sort of figured out at this point in my life that there are going to be days when I feel sad. When brushing my teeth or washing my hair or actually wearing clothes that couldn't be described as 'loungewear' is just going to be too much effort for me. Although giving in to this feels like I'm a complete loser who will never again exist in the world as a functional member of society the worst thing I can do, personally, is rail against it. The giving in is the first step to getting over it and if I avoid that, vital, first part then it just drags on.

Luckily I no longer experience the sort of crippling 'weeks have gone passed and I haven't spoken to anyone but my mum and my dogs' depression that Allie Brosch describes but I do know exactly what it's like. It's been fucking horrible is what it's like.

But fuck, I am crazy in love with this seriously amazing man (who, seems to, rather crazily love me back) and I can't believe just how lucky I am. We've been through a 'bit of bother' as we navigate our way to living contently side by side as opposed to living somewhat contently but separately, but even that is kind of great in a truly bizarre way. Just hearing his key in the door as he gets in from work, making him cheese and tomato sandwiches for his lunch while he sips his coffee behind me in the kitchen, seeing him get angry when the PS3 won't set up properly. All of it is seeing him, and him seeing me.

I like that.

I love that.

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